2 1/2 Years Alcohol Free

Hello my friends! In just a couple of weeks I am coming up on my 2 ½ year anniversary of being alcohol free. I still sometimes wake up and wonder at it all. Before I found Annie Grace and This Naked Mind I was really lost. My life was really centered around my relationship with alcohol – the love/hate of it all. The relationship had become toxic, but I didn't know how to let it go. I didn't even really believe I wanted to let it go. I was desperate to find a way to keep it in my life because I honestly couldn't imagine my life without it.

The Mental Chatter Nobody Talks About

And no wonder. I could not have imagined this life I have now. At the time, alcohol was all-consuming. I was either thinking about drinking, thinking about not drinking, drinking, recovering from drinking, beating myself up about drinking, planning to drink, planning not to drink – you get the picture. It was everywhere in my thoughts. It took up SO MUCH SPACE. I think that's one of the costs of drinking alcohol a lot of people don't recognize. We know what a terrible hangover feels like and we can blame alcohol for that. We know it's not great for our health. But the mental chatter – in some ways that was the most painful part for me. And I had no way of imagining what it would feel like for that to be gone.

And now that it's gone, it's almost hard to describe the space that's opened up. The feeling of real, true freedom from any thoughts about alcohol. Even if I see some pleasing scene with happy people drinking alcohol – my brain might light up for a hot second and then very quickly I can see right through it. I know I don't want that. In fact, you couldn't pay me to drink now. I am living my life in full technicolor now. Life has all the highs, all the lows and everything in between with no numbing agent, no mood-elevator, no altering substance to get in the way of me and my experience. Is it always easy? Hell no! In fact, truly experiencing this human life is far from easy. But it's real. And easy is way overrated. I used to chase easy. But I've come to discover that easy is not all it's cracked up to be. It's kind of boring. The real excitement is in challenging myself, getting uncomfortable, growing, evolving, getting REAL.

From Fragile to Free

Again, you couldn't have told that to me a few years ago. I wouldn't have gotten it. I wanted easy – because to be honest, easy felt like all I could handle. I felt so fragile all the time. Fragile from the physical effects of alcohol, and fragile from all the mental and emotional beatings I was heaping on myself daily. And again, no space. So much mental chatter consuming all my energy, all my time.

Fast forward to about a year AF and all that mental chatter was pretty much gone. I had gone through so many firsts AF, built up so much confidence in this new way of life, debunked all the beliefs I had about how alcohol benefitted me (all lies). There was nothing left to think about, nothing left to negotiate. And suddenly I had all this space. And energy. And peace. And hope and optimism for the future. I didn't know this was available to me when I was drinking. I couldn't have imagined it. It was completely unfamiliar – I've been drinking since I was 15 years old. And pretty heavily and pretty frequently ever since then. Alcohol was intertwined in every aspect of my life and my identity. So how could I imagine what my life would look like without it? Of course I couldn't.

If You Can't Imagine Your Life Without Alcohol

I share this to say – if you can't imagine your life without alcohol – it's OK. You don't have to. You just have to want to find out. You just have to stay curious. And you might have to take a leap of faith. Show me a person that says their life is worse after a year AF and I'll show you a thousand that say it's better. I have honestly NEVER heard anyone say their life is worse after giving up alcohol. Have you? The people saying it will be worse are the people that are currently drinking. And of course, they believe that – they can't imagine it. No judgement from me – when I was drinking, I couldn't either.

What's Opened Up For Me

To give you an idea of what's possible I want to share just a few of the things that have opened up for me in this newfound space and freedom. I finally got my life coaching certification after years of stalling out. I got certified with our own Annie Grace to become a TNM coach and I now have my own coaching practice. Check me out at

https://ellenbiggscoaching.com

I started writing on Substack – whaaat? I'd never even heard of Substack, let alone thought I had anything worth saying a few years ago. I've started a podcast with a fellow coach all about this AF journey and life (check us out on YouTube and/or Podcasts – we're called The Alcohol Myth Podcast - click for link

and on YouTube - Click here

I NEVER could have imagined that for myself. And I am a podcast junkie - I just LOVE them. And to now have my own, it's absolutely mind-blowing. I just came out to all my friends and family about my relationship with alcohol – no more masks for me. I'm living authentically for the first time in forever. My relationships are better, my health is better, my energy is better. Everything is better. Is life perfect all the time? Of course not. Sometimes it really sucks. But I know in those times it would be even worse with alcohol in the mix. It just doesn't serve me. And I'm never going to back to that half-life I was living believing it was full. Trying desperately to protect my wine, to keep it in my life somehow, some way. I wasted a lot of time believing I was living the good life with my wine. I don't regret any of it now because it got me where I am today. But I'm sure as hell not going back. No way. I'll be 55 this year. I've got a lot of living to do in whatever time is left for me here. Each year AF has opened up more and more possibilities, more friendships, more connection, more peace. I'm so excited to see what's next.

You Are Worth It

If you need to know that it's worth it before you go all in – I promise you it's worth it. And I also know that everyone needs to find that out for themselves. I really hope you give it a chance. You won't be disappointed. I know we are all different, but we are also all the same. And alcohol does the same stuff to all of us. Let's keep kicking it to the curb so we can live our best lives. I've realized I deserve it and so do you! Just keep showing up. Keep working at it. Keep believing it's worth it. Start believing YOU are worth it. You can't even imagine what your life will look like after a year or two alcohol-free. It's beyond your wildest dreams! If you need a nudge, I am here offering you one! You are worth it.